Down.

This week has been rough. Adam got sick on the 26th, and is still down for the count. Poor guy hasn’t had a real meal in 8 days, and has lost so much weight. Like, we weigh the same amount right now… Not super great for my self esteem, I tell you.

This is obviously a bit stressful because he’s the main breadwinner and hasn’t been working much, but also because he does the majority of the physical labour around here. I’m doing my best to pick up the slack, but it’s not like I’m in the best position to be doing much more than I was before. So the Christmas decorations are all still up, and none of my or Luna’s presents have been put away. There are currently 4 puzzles out of their boxes on the living room floor, several stacks of unopened mail in various locations, and nothing has been vacuumed or properly cleaned since Boxing Day. At this point I can’t really reach the sink to do dishes without hurting my back, but I’ve been doing a load here and there just to keep up with the basics. Oh, and my tendonitis has been flaring up since Sunday, so I also only have one functioning hand, and load of dishes takes me about 45-60 minutes.

See, there’s this great hormone called relaxin, and it’s purpose during pregnancy is to allow your ligaments to relax (get it?) and stretch out so that your uterus can expand and your hips and ribcage can widen to make space for the growing baby(ies). Cool right? Because all that expanding is painful enough as it is, I can’t imagine how bad it’d be if everything wasn’t loosened up. The problem is that relaxin doesn’t discriminate between the body parts need to change during pregnancy and the ones that don’t. Enter tendonitis, joint pain, back pain, and an increased likelihood of injuries. Add in all the extra weight you have to carry (I’m up 20lbs now), and the pressure and strain that puts on your body, and tada! This is why pregnant ladies are always so tired and sore. And grumpy. And sometimes sad.

I had a bit of a breakdown at about 5:30 am on New Year’s Eve. I’d slept all of 5 hours and  during that, I’d woken up 6 times due to back or wrist pain. I’ve still got 2.5 months to go, and I’m already feeling so many of the symptoms that are normally reserved for those last few weeks. I felt like I’d never get a good night’s sleep again, that I’d never be comfortable again, like I was just bound to be miserable for the rest of my pregnancy, and goodness knows things won’t get easier after the twins are born.  Between not sleeping well for the last month, being in pain most of the time, the stress of everyone being sick, and feeling like I can’t do enough to pick up the slack, I just felt broken.

Thankfully things are getting back to normal, bit by bit. Adam’s mom has been brining us groceries and watching Luna when she can, and my mom’s taken Lu for two sleepovers this week alone. Adam’s starting to come around, he was able to get rid of his shifts for the next couple of days so hopefully that will be enough time for him to start feeling better. My main concern is how much he’s (not) eating, but he’s kept some food down today, thank goodness. I’m off work now until Tuesday, and I have a brace for my wrist that’s really helping with my tendonitis., so I think by next week we’ll all be feeling much better. Fingers crossed.